Browsing Reddit is a good way to come up with channel content for just about anything. No matter what subreddit you go into, somebody is bound to say something inflammatory or ridiculous that can be used for show-prep. In this case, it's the r/twosentencehorror subreddit. There was a show made about "Two Sentence Horror Stories", but I never have watched it.
The impetus for what is going to be a series of videos on a theme, was one particular short story, namely this one:
Upon my request the heavenly scribe told me: "Your husband is here because he died as a Christian, your daughter is not for she lost her faith because of what your husband did to her." I wanted to protest, but then the eternal bliss of being in God's presence washed over me and nothing else mattered anymore.
The story alone is ripe with misunderstandings of eternity and the nature of heaven, but on a deeper level there is a misunderstanding of salvation, who God is, who man is, and what sin is. All of these things come into play when learning how to deal with these sorts of emotional attacks against the faith. That doesn't mean they're impossible to deal with. Far from it. However, if you don't know what you believe or what the Bible says about these issues, you'll be hard pressed to come up with a valid response to any of it.
So, for my Christian followers, I hope the coming series will be of benefit to you. If you're not, hopefully you'll learn something too, if nothing else than how to accurately represent the other side.
Perhaps one of my favorite poems of all time, other than "Goldie Pinklesweet", is Robert Browning's famous "My Last Duchess". I remember doing a research paper in college about it and how it served as one of the best examples in poetry of a dramatic monologue. The poem itself is simple: a wealthy aristocratic man is meeting with a business partner (for lack of a better term) with whom he hopes will help negotiate a dowry for a young woman he seeks as a bride. Before negotiations take place, he decides to show the man a painting of the former duchess. In the process, it becomes very apparent that this is more than just a friendly chat. The narrator reveals through the course of the conversation just what sort of man he is and what happened to his ex-wife, now alive only through the medium of a painting, and no, it's not the fancy living paintings of Harry Potter either.
Browning expertly weaves in subtle details into the monologue giving us an insight into the narrator's psyche without the narrator specifically saying what happened, though the details are heavily implied.
Anyway, if you're not familiar with the poem, I hope this serves as a suitable introduction.
Ron Hamilton (a.k.a. Patch the Pirate) probably did more to shape my musical tastes than any musician I've ever listened to. As much as I love the works of Nobuo Uematsu, Yasunori Mitsuda, Masayoshi Soken, numerous other Japanese composers for video games, and even bands like Metallica, Pink Floyd, and Foreigner, none of them hold anywhere near as special place in my heart as this one individual. I remember when I was still a little kid sitting in the dining room in front of our record player next to my brother and listening to Patch the Pirate records over and over again. For you Gen Z people, a record is like a giant oversized cd...then again, I may need to explain what a cd is...uh...it was a metal round thing that had music recorded on it and, before the days of mp3's, you had to figure out some way of hooking a cd player up to a cassette player to record your favorite songs onto a separate piece of hardware called a cassette tape, which was like a small VHS tape...ugh. Nevermind. It was the dark ages of having music recordings and it was awesome! We liked it! We liked it just fine! We didn't have this "technology" stuff.
Anyway, grumpy old man ramblings aside, Ron Hamilton produced numerous audio dramas for kids, beginning as something he was doing for his home church shortly after losing his left eye to cancer. Over time, it became more and more popular and he and his family (the main cast) as well as other voice actors got together to produce new family friendly stories complete with sound effects and musical numbers that ranged from teaching kids about the importance of manners to deeper songs dealing with theology and even the realities of life, such as encouraging parents to treasure the times they have with their children before they grow up. Each adventure had its own moral lesson it was trying to teach and it was always done in a fun and entertaining way for kids. Nowadays it may not have quite the same appeal since you have to use your imagination to picture the characters and settings, but for those of us who grew up on it and have imaginations, it's very well done.
Incidentally, this is what got me into my love of audio drama and audio production. If you listened to the first two Lovecraft stories I recorded, especially the first, you'll notice how I tried to incorporate sound effects and background music into them. That all stems from my exposure to that sort of thing because of Mr. Hamilton.
Ron's testimony about the song which serves as the namesake for this article and the embedded video is one of taking Paul's words to the Philippians seriously:
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! (Philippians 4:4 NASB2020)
Paul's words weren't a recommendation as an apostle, but a command that we should always rejoice in God's provision and kindness to His children, even when circumstances would seem to dictate otherwise.
Unfortunately, Ron has been hit with early onset dementia and no longer writes music or records as far as I can tell. Fortunately, his legacy will long outlast him and live on through the countless children who grew up listening to the adventures of Patch the Pirate and his crew on the Jolly Roger and try to teach their own children the same values. I wanted to do my own recording of one of his most well known songs which also is probably the earliest one I remember hearing that blew me away as a kid.
Thanks for everything Patch.
Ron's Testimony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mnq096XedJsBacking track purchased from Majesty Music: https://www.majestymusic.com/wings-as-eagles-pa-digital-download.htmlSong featured as part of the Misterslippi River Race story: https://www.majestymusic.com/misterslippi-river-race-digital-download.html
I mentioned a while back in my video on the authority of scripture that I would be recording a video letting you all know where I had been and where I had disappeared to over the last few years. I know that there are also those who have come to this blog and my attached YouTube channel who have never met me personally so there's probably fewer questions you have about that since you probably didn't know I had dropped off of social media in the first place.
Without taking too much away from the video itself, I have struggled with porn addiction for most of my life. I realize that sounds horrifying but when you consider the fact that I'll be 38 this year (as of the time of this writing it is 2023), even if the problem didn't begin until I was eighteen, that would be twenty years which is mathematically more than half my life (not by much but you get the point). I'm not saying I got hooked on it when I was a little kid. Nothing quite that extreme. It's a problem for a lot of men and it's getting harder and harder to avoid which is why my wife and I do our best to shelter the kids from a lot of things out in the world.
Suffice it to say, my problems had gotten out of control and it threatened to destroy my marriage, my relationship with my kids, those in my church, and every other aspect of my life. Ultimately, I got involved with a recovery program and came at last to the realization that drastic steps had to be taken to correct my behavior. It also involved a lot of soul-searching and finding out what exactly it was that had brought me to this point. Only by the grace of God was I brought back from the brink and my relationship with my family and God restored.
I hope my story can be an encouragement to you all. If you're a man who also struggles with this sort of thing, I hope it's an encouragement to you to get help. Celebrate Recovery is a decent program (though I'm no fan of Saddleback Church or Rick Warren), and Battle Plan Ministries is a good resource as well. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to come listen.
In the Vault by H.P. Lovecraft is a fun little short story involving a mishap in a tomb with a bumbling drunk undertaker. Of course, this undertaker also happens to be a bit of a dirt-bag who was a little less than concerned with how he treated the bodies of those he had to prepare for burial. The ending is a little predictable, but still enjoyable nonetheless. Not much to say about this one since it's pretty straightforward. No lore or anything to dig into. Just a straightforward story. Enjoy!
For the past couple of months, I've been wanting to share a conversation I had on the YouTubes with an individual on a Babylon Bee video. It sounds riveting, I know. However, the discussion itself shifted from defending the Doctrines of Grace from spurious attacks from your standard internet denizen suffering from ACDS (Anti-Calvinist Derangement Syndrome) to the topic of the authority of scripture. Now, the conversation regarding Calvinism was threaded throughout, but the main issue I want to focus on here is how we as Christians view the Bible and how we are to treat it as authoritative. Suffice it to say, if I had to choose a title card to summarize the conversation, it would be from an old Windows first-person shooter called:
Did you know it was allegedly possible to complete disregard scripture as authoritative and yet still try to quote it as authoritative when it suits your agenda? Did you also know it makes no sense to do that and it's a complete waste of time? I don't go around trying to model my life after Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, or Goosebumps. If scripture is on par with that level of fiction, then what difference does it make what it says? Might as well ignore it and do whatever you want because it's not worth your time to live by. It's no more binding and authoritative than the works of Jordan Peterson. Sure, there may be some good advice, but if you reject it, so what? Why bother trying to get anyone to live by it either? Let people do whatever they want.
Of course, most people who are Christians don't actually want to take that position. It's a ridiculous position to hold to. It's just as ridiculous as someone who doesn't believe anything the Bible says wanting to a pastor. Why waste your time? Unfortunately, this subpar view of scripture has become prevalent in the west via liberal Christianity (which isn't actually Christianity at all). Sadly, many gullible Christians fall into the same trap, or they simply don't recognize it for being as intellectually bankrupt as it is. Most are willing to go along to get along without calling their liberal "Christian" friends out on such a vital issue. If we are to be disciples of Christ, we have to hold to the same view of scripture as our Lord did, and he certainly didn't take a piecemeal approach to it or see it as the mere writings of ignorant men. So, when we come across those who would seek to denigrate and undermine the authority of scripture, or even supplant it by an appeal to a particular "Church" as their final authority, we must stand firm and hold to the position of the apostles and the Reformers that not only are the scriptures the inspired word of God, but they are the only ultimate authority by which we are to be governed.
Back in sixth grade, my teacher, Mrs. Hamilton (if you'rereading this, hi!), took time just about every day to read stories to us. Partially this was to get us exposed to different famous children's books, but also to give us time to relax and maybe even take a quick nap. Either way, I recall at one point her reading to us the sequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was none other than Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator. I don't recall too much about the story other than the Vermicious Knids (which were also little enemies that you had to fight in some of the online Willie Wonka flash games on their website at the time) and the poem here, "Goldie Pinklesweet". If I remember correctly, the grandparents had all taken a bunch of pills that made them younger and to the point that they were all newborns again. One blipped out of existence because while all the rest were 80 years old, she was only 79 and thus took one too many. Thus was the stage for the Oompa Loompas to come give a brief talk about drug abuse.
Of course, nowadays Dahl's works among others are getting revised for a "modern audience" (one of the worst things to ever hear about an adaptation). Numerous changes were made and words were censored in favor of slightly less "offensive" terms. When one asks "who are these words offensive to," the answer is the people on the editorial board. Just who was on the board?
The company hired to revise Roald Dahl’s books only uses “woke” consultants under the age of 30 and once employed a project manager who describes themselves as a “non-binary, asexual, polyamorous relationship anarchist.”
What!? You mean to tell me that the people who were doing this were a bunch of activists whose descriptions read like something an edgy teenager was putting in their bio on Tumblr almost a decade ago? You mean they read like the description of someone who is "chronically online" and doesn't have a firm grasp of objective reality!? Who would have ever guessed!?
Among the progressive editors tasked with revisiting classics such as “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” “Matilda” and “The Witches” was a staffer who described themselves as a “non-binary, asexual, polyamorous relationship anarchist who is on the autism spectrum,” according to National Review.
Further down, we have this statement as well:
A spokesperson for Inclusive Minds told National Review its ambassadors don’t make direct edits, but that young people with “lived experience” have valuable inputs to make when it comes to “reviewing language that can be damaging and perpetuate harmful stereotypes”. They also noted publishers have the final say at to what changes they want to make.
Having a bunch of out-of-touch, progressive, chronically online autists determining what's offensive based on their "lived experience" is a surefire way to turn a book into a steaming turd. To be quite honest, someone's "lived experience" should also be the experience of getting over words that they deem offensive. Part of that "lived experience" needs to be understanding that just because they're offended by a word doesn't mean the word is actually offensive to the vast majority of people. Of course, the reverse is also true and there needs to be empathy. However, examples of words being changed are words like "fat" and "ugly". Those are now deemed too offensive for kids to read. What words would they rather use? "Brave and courageous at every size" and "non-conforming to oppressive white cis-hetero patriarchal beauty standards"? An edit in Witches includes a caveat about the witches being bald. From another article (https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/news/roald-dahl-edits-books-censored-witches-b2288252.html).
In The Witches (where witches wear wigs) Dahl had written: “You can’t go round pulling the hair of every lady you meet, even if she is wearing gloves. Just you try it and see what happens.” Puffin’s new version reads: “Besides, there are plenty of other reasons why women might wear wigs and there is certainly nothing wrong with that.”
There is no reason to include that disclaimer in the first place. As though a child was going to read the description and thing that all women who wear wigs are either witches or have something wrong with them. Never once when reading any of Dahl's works did any such thing pop into my head and I can almost assure you with 99.9% certainty nobody else has either. These are activists looking for a reason to be offended and justify their perceived victim status. They then use that status as a reason to force changes on everybody else. The stories are fine as they are and aside from maybe updating older language that never gets used anymore. In "Goldie Pinklesweet", the term "w.c". meaning "water closet" is used. In American editions part of the poem is changed to "and so she sits and dreams of glory alone inside the lavatory", because most Americans used that term instead of "w.c.". So I can understand updating certain things like that. But beyond that, no. If someone is described as fat and ugly, then that's the term they should use. Words have meaning and just because people have become too thin-skinned these days doesn't mean that those words are offensive in themselves. If you want to be offended by them, that's a you problem.
To their credit (what little they deserve) the publisher says that they'll keep releasing the original versions under the Penguin label, but the Puffin label will have the edited ones. Cool. At least I know which version not to buy for the kids.
So, to the activists: get offline, get some therapy, kick rocks, pound sand, and touch some grass.
